


It Sucks To Be Me

by babynative



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Break Up, Child Death, Depression, Euthanasia, Heartbreak, M/M, Stony - Freeform, Subtle Hints of PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, i guess, idk - Freeform, steve rogers - Freeform, tony stark - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 00:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18216002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babynative/pseuds/babynative
Summary: Losing three children over varying time periods can be traumatic.





	It Sucks To Be Me

They lose Louis on December 23rd, 2018. They lose him and it feels like an atomic bomb has been dropped on his world and wiped out everything that was once important to him. It feels like someone just tore out his heart, straight through his ribs and left him bleed out on the ground. Suffering. It kills him, it destroys him and it makes him lonely. Like how he was before, just lonely. Steve couldn't take it and he left Tony alone to fend for himself. Again. Everything was beginning to look fine, his outlook on life was beginning to look positive. He doesn't deserve. Yes you do. He didn't feel like he hated himself for once because there he was, Louis, in all his glory. He was born healthy and then he was taken from him because someone had a grudge against him. They take and they take from him, they break him and they murder his son. Again. His Peter who was torn away from him in the wind, swept away in clumps of ashes. His Logan who cried because the flu wouldn't stop burning him and they were too far out on their holiday grounds to get him to a hospital quick enough. And now...now his Louis. When will there be a day that the world doesn't take from him? When will someone love him, hold him and tell him it's okay even though its not? His eyes burn from how tired he is from crying, he cries for everybody now. He never has felt pain like this before. He managed for Peter, he managed for Logan, he managed when Steve walked out the door but he doesn't think he'll manage with Louis gone.

More frequently, he thinks about killing himself. It's too much. It's too painful. He tries to motivate himself but he feels too shallow, his world continues to crumble even though his heart is already split in half. He wonders how people can call him heartless when he feels too much. He gets angry, sad, lonely and mixture of feelings but lately all he has been feeling is numb. So, he works on it. It's legal now to get euthanasia where he is, so he does. He doesn't give them any response when they stare at him in shock. He gets the 'go ahead' sign as it were to end his own life. He signs the paperwork and he'll be gone within a few hours.

They inject something into his bloodstream and he waits. His world blurs around him and he feels lighter than a feather. Once he's gone, this time for certain or maybe he's just playing himself, nobody will miss him. His parents don't care, Rhodey would rather kiss Steves ass, Steve would rather kiss Bucky's ass and nobody is coming home tonight. Not even he.

His world ends, his vision goes dark. He waits and he waits and he's suffered for so long. He deserves to go, he's allowed to go. Someone enters the room last minute, his eyes scream heartbreak. It's the flash of blond hair and then he's gone.

Thank god for that, Tony thinks and his whole world flashes into darkness.


End file.
